


Bovine

by Yeahyouwish



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Cowboys, Ear Kink, Farmer Bruce, Furry, Horn kink, Lactation Kink, M/M, Male Lactation, Milking, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, Poacher Slade, Prostate Milking, Tail Kink, Tail Sex, cow-boys, farmer au, nipple sucking, slight crack, sociopathic slade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2018-12-15 21:02:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11814123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeahyouwish/pseuds/Yeahyouwish
Summary: Based on a prompt from an anon on Dicktofen's blog, where Bruce is a farmer to a bunch of boys who are half cow/kudans (read; Robins) In mine, Slade is a poacher. Some pairings only implied (mostly the Bruce ones).Every day when Slade went, well, for lack of a better term, to work, he passed by a splendid sight. It was a farm. But of course the farm itself wasn’t the main attraction. Rather, Slade would pass by the farm on the way into the forest, gun slung over his shoulder, and see that there were four lovely cowboys grazing there, free range. Now, Slade would be the first to admit that he’d always had - a thing- for cowboys...





	1. Slade Makes a Flower Crown

**Author's Note:**

> OOH-EE. Oh-kay. Slade being a real sociopath in this one. He really turns up the charm to seduce this little cowboy. By cowboy, I mean a boy who is a half cow. So tagged for furry! This one is originally  
> n this chapter just Slade/Dick, implied Jason/Tim, and Implied BruDick.  
> In other chapters there will also be other pairings.

Every day when Slade went, well, for lack of a better term, to work, he passed by a splendid sight. It was a farm. But of course the farm itself wasn’t the main attraction. Rather, Slade would pass by the farm on the way into the forest, gun slung over his shoulder, and see that there were four lovely cowboys grazing there, free range. 

 

Now, Slade would be the first to admit that he’d always had - a thing- for cowboys. Anything with a human face and a dick that massive that spewed literal milk had his immediate attention, and the ears were definitely a plus. Those little **horns**. Slade had it bad. And in particular, he had it bad for the one that would sneak off into the corner of the farm near the path to graze on white flowers. 

 

At first Slade couldn’t understand why he would do this. That patch was concealed by a small growth of trees that had been fenced off so as not to leave the place in an irregular shape, but were originally part of the forest. Cows were herd animals, and they didn’t like being alone so much that they would slip away from the party unless something special was there. So, one night, he circled and scoped the farm, slipping deftly through the fence, obsessed with the image of this sweet-faced boy, and found a pleasant answer to his questions. These flowers didn’t grow anywhere else on the farm.

 

There was a large patch over there near the corner, then nothing, and it wasn’t long after that that Slade found out why. One evening as he walked back he head yelling from the farm. He slipped into the trees and watched as the guilty party was chastised by the farmer, who had followed the cow-boy into the corner today. 

 

“Dick! Stay away from those flowers!” 

 

“Bruce!” Dick said in surprise, spinning on the spot. He looked guilty. Slade’s grin widened. 

 

_Someone is in trouble…._

 

“Don’t ‘Bruce’ me, Dick! You know you aren’t supposed to eat these!” 

 

“They’re really good!” Dick complained. 

 

“They’re delicious, Dick, not good. They’re not healthy for cowboys, now come on.” 

 

Dick gave the flowers a longing look as Bruce took his hand and pulled him away. That look was forever burned into Slade’s consciousness. 

 

And as Slade passed the next evening, he didn’t see the cowboy, or the flowers. Apparently that wretched farmer, Bruce, had taken a weed waker to them. How could he watch such a beautiful creature pout? 

 

Two days later Slade passed the spot and met the delightful sight again, this time peering all over the place between the weeds looking for flowers, of course. Slade grinned and made his way to the fence. As he approached Dick looked up guiltily. He relaxed a little when he saw Slade instead of Bruce, but not much. His ears were up. 

 

“Looking or flowers?” Slade asked casually. He pretended to have just noticed they were gone and continued with, “Oh? Where are they?” 

 

Dick shuffled from hoof to hoof. Shyly, he mumbled, “I don’t know, I guess Bruce didn’t want them…” 

 

Slade frowned at him. “Oh, why not? I’ve seen you eating them here before.” He didn’t touch the fence yet, because he saw Dick looking over his shoulder. Clearly he wasn’t supposed to be talking to strange men. Of course not. It was very, _very_ dangerous. 

 

“They’re not really… healthy.” 

 

Slade laughed. “My goodness, that is rubbish.” He said in his most charming voice. Dick looked up at him. “Everyone eats sweets sometimes.” 

 

Dick laughed, and it was a sight even more beautiful than all Slade had seen so far. He wanted this cowboy, immediately. “Well, we get healthy treats.” 

 

Slade clicked his tongue. Then he left Dick with curiosity about him by continuing his way down the path. Hopefully Dick would want to see more of him, just as he wanted to see more of Dick. 

 

Slade was careful not to walk past the corner of the farm again that week. He returned instead the next week, and this time, he did something quiet unorthodox for himself. Slade made a flower crown. 

 

In it he wove as many of the wild white flowers as he could find, complimenting them with some blue wild flowers and Babies Breath, and then he went home. More specifically he went home by way of the farm path. When he arrived, he heard the bell ringing, and knew that Dick was in the field. Perfect. He walked by with the flower crown on his head, pretending to be occupied with his bag, and felt Dick’s eyes on him. Then, suddenly, just as planned, “Hello.” 

 

Slade stopped and looked around. “Oh. It’s you. Find anymore flowers?” He asked, teasing. 

 

“Yup.” _Damn_. 

 

“Oh, good.” 

 

Dick pointed at Slade’s head. Ah, so he was a bit cheeky, huh? “Oh, this?” Slade pretended to be self- conscious as he snatched it off his head. “It’s nothing. Just a flower crown for my daughter. Boiling water for drinking gets quiet boring, and I had a bit of extra time…” 

 

Dick’s eyes were still on the crown. He licked his lips. “Flowers.” He said. 

 

Slade looked down, then back up, letting a wicked grin spread on his face. “Oh, cheeky boy.” He chided. 

 

Dick blushed but seemed proud of himself. “Where did you get them?” He asked innocently. 

 

“In the forest. They grow everywhere over there. Not unlike your patch of trees.” 

 

“Oh. What were you doing there?” 

 

_Poaching_. “Collecting. Nuts, berries, things to sell.” He opened his bag, which was filled to the brim, and there were not just nuts in there. There were plenty of delightful foods cowboys would love, as well. Peaches, berries, flowers, grasses… 

 

“Oh.” Dick said in a voice that cracked with weak greed. Slade hardly managed to hold back his snicker. 

 

Oh, this bad boy…. he didn’t want to ask for anything. “Well, have a good night.” Slade said. He started to walk away, but Dick lumbered after him. Hoof falls in the grass, a sound so sweet. 

 

“Oh, oh… uh… do you think…” Slade stopped again and looked at Dick, and Dick looked at him. He dropped his voice, “Do you think I could have a- a flower? Just one?” 

 

Slade smiled. “Oh, why not?” He said, and he plucked on flower from the crown and gave it to Dick. 

 

“Thank you.” Dick said in a sweet as sugar voice, giving Slade a winning smile. Oooooh. 

 

“You’re welcome, little cow.” Slade paused, then gave him another from the crown. “She won’t mind.” 

 

Dick smiled wider, never breaking eye contact as he took the flower gently from Slade’s hand. He felt the brush of his fingers and instantly wanted more. Dick ate one and his eyes closed with bliss. He made a little humming noise. Well, that was Slade’s cue to leave. 

 

Anything less and he’d be raping this cow in the next two minutes. 

 

He jogged lightly to the house, which did nothing against his erection. As soon as he was in the door, Slade dropped his bag and got his cock into his hand. “Dick… Dick…” He moaned as he stoked himself. He imagined sexually frustrated hoof-falls in the grass, marking the ground, the sound of the bell hitting the grass as it was removed, leaving Dick’s chest and neck free for suckling. “Yes…. give me that milk….” Slade murmured, imagining his hand was stroking a beautiful cow cock. When he came, he almost licked his own sperm from his hand before he remembered it wasn’t milk… exactly. He sighed, the release somewhat ruined by the halting of his fantasy. 

 

The next day, Slade came and went by way of the farm path. He didn’t see Dick on his way in, (probably being milked, and even that thought made Slade hard in his pants), but on his way out he picked a bunch of flowers and carried them to the fence. Sure enough, Dick was there. 

 

“Wow!” He said without restraint as Slade approached. 

 

“Haha, I was hoping to see you here.” Slade put down his bag as Dick stared at the flowers in his hands. “You see, last night when I got home,” He lied easily, “I told my daughter about this polite little cowboy who asked for a flower. You know what she did?” 

 

Dick looked at him in the eye for the first time. “What?” 

 

Slade managed to sound innocent even to himself as he laughed, “She picked all the white flowers right out of the crown and gave them to me!” 

 

“Awwww! How sweet!” 

 

“Well, I told her, ‘Rose, darling,” - (“That’s a beautiful name,” Dick said)- “In the morning those flowers will either be dry as dust or wilted. So, I promise, if you put them back in the crown, I will pick that little cowboy a whole new set and bring it to him tonight.” 

 

“That is so sweet!” 

 

“Well, I can’t upset my little girl, now can I?” Slade said. He offered the flowers, and Dick took the bunch of them. 

 

“Aw! This is… thank you!” 

 

“No, no, thank my daughter.” 

 

“Wow, this is amazing. I’m gonna get so fat on these, though.” 

 

“Haha, you’re free-range. You can handle it.” 

 

They both laughed, and Slade found laughter was easier if Dick was already laughing. 

 

“Really, how can I repay you?” 

 

_Let me milk that delicious cock with my mouth._ “No, please!” Slade waved his hand casually. “Enjoy.” He said, and walked down the path again. Maybe he should have at least asked to scratch his ears. 

 

Slade used the natural elements as his excuse to see Dick, building on the story as he went. Rose told me to give you these, I found this in a clearing in the forest, you said you liked berries so I thought I’d give you a few. Slade quickly found that Dick was quite a glutton, and treats went a long way. Every day Dick would meet him in the top right corner of the farm and lean on the fence, one of his back legs popped back. Every day it would earn him something nice to eat. Every day Slade tested his boundaries. 

 

The first day he put his hand on the fence. The next his arm. The next he leaned on it the same way Dick was. The next he leaned on it backwards, shoulders nearly flush with Dick’s head, right next to him as he chewed beef jerky and they chatted. Dick always acted surprised when Slade gave him treats, though by now it had to be expected. He had lots of questions about the world beyond his fence as well. Slade answered them as best as he could. 

 

Slade learned a few things, too. The other cows were Jason, Tim, and Damian. Jason was the leader of the herd, which meant he could produce the most milk. Tim was apparently shy about being milked, and Jason was the most aggressive. About Dick, he learned he used to be a show-cow and had several ribbons. This came with the added benefit that Dick showed him some tricks. He applauded and praised each one until Dick blushed with pleasure and pride. 

 

The next step was simple. He wanted to touch those ears. Slade fantasised that they were soft as silk. That day he brought Dick some of the flowers he liked and some soft bark he had tried the day before, and loved. Dick acted surprised as usual. He leaned on the fence and ate the flowers one by one, eyes closed. Slade was getting used to it. It would be fine, today, if he touched. 

 

He reached out a hand and let himself laugh as he messed Dick’s already fluffy hair and tugged an ear. Dick opened his eyes and gave him a lazy grin, still chewing. “Ah? You like your ears scratched?” Slade tried. 

 

“Yup.” Oh, lovely. As casually as possible, Slade put his hand back in Dick’s soft fluff, scratching this time. Dick moaned. Actually moaned. Slade scratched his ears, and the base of his horns. Dick chewed slower and slower ad Slade worked, letting his callused hands run through every strand, fondling the ears and horns, then returning to the hair. When he didn’t think he could hold back anymore, he let his hand slip down Dick’s face and under his chin, where is pushed up, then let go. Dick laughed. “That feels good.” He said. 

 

“I bet it does.” Slade replied sweetly. 

 

“Where do you buy your milk?” Dick asked, voice flirty. Shit. 

 

Slade could feel himself hardening. He adjusted his jacket. “I only buy fresh, right off the farm.” He said. 

 

“Oh. Which farm?” 

 

“From Ronan Sionis.”

 

Dick’s face turned serious. “Oh.” 

 

“What’s the matter, Little Cow?” 

 

“Um, nothing.” Dick said, but he was clearly lying. Slade gave him a practiced, puzzled look. “Bruce doesn’t like him.” 

 

“The method, you mean. Bruce hand-milks?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Ah, well, his herd is smaller.” 

 

“But our milk is better.” Dick said with a cocky grin, his ears laying down to both sides. 

 

“Oh?” 

 

Dick’s ears suddenly went up. He turned back to the farm, then looked at Slade. “Bruce is calling us in. See you tomorrow, Slade!” 

 

“Tomorrow, then.” Slade replied. He watched Dick retreat, little tail swooshing over that fine derrière. Hm. Half cow. Incredible. 

 

Bananas and oranges were the next day’s treat, and Dick got a little excited when he saw them. “Oh, you like bananas?” Slade cooed at him. His sharp eyes stayed to Dick’s exposed nipples, and were surprised and pleased to find them leaking a bit of milk. 

 

“I love them!” Dick said. Slade chanced a glance down and saw Dick was heavy with milk elsewhere as well. Hm. They hadn’t been milked today, then. 

 

Slade scratched Dick’s head briefly, running his fingers over the right ear and down, feeling it’s velvety soft fur. Then he peeled a banana and gave a bite to Dick. He took the next bite. Dick didn’t seem to mind sharing. “So, how are the others today?” 

 

“Fine.” Dick said, mouth still full from his too-big bite, “But Bruce had to go out early today because of an emergency. So he didn’t get to milk us, and Jason is a little crazy when he doesn’t get milked.” 

 

“So you’ve said.” Slade pointed. “What about you?” 

 

“I’m alright. Bruce will do it when he gets home.” Dick shrugged. 

 

“It doesn’t hurt?” 

 

“It’s uncomfortable, a little. Jason milked Tim himself this morning, but I think it was accidental.” Dick smiled and winked. 

 

Slade grinned back. “Oh, I see.” He gave Dick another bite of banana. “So yesterday you mentioned your milk is better.” 

 

“It is. Everyone says so.” 

 

“Who is everyone?” 

 

“I don’t know. That’s what Bruce says. And we always sell out.” 

 

“Care to prove your point?” Slade asked. It was a chance, but this was the perfect time. Dick was heavy with milk now. He might let himself go a bit. 

 

Dick stared for a second, then laughed. “I can’t. Bruce says he has to milk us.” 

 

“Oh, well, Jason was milking Tim, so…” 

 

“I know, I know,” Dick whispered, blushing. He was definitely affecting him. “He’s not supposed to, either.” He continued, as if sharing his most dirty joke. 

 

“I just wanted a little taste, but if you’re shy, Dick, it’s alright.” 

 

“No, no, I’m not at all shy… I just… sometimes I’m kind of sensitive. Today my nipples are kind of sore…” 

 

“What does Bruce do when they hurt?” Slade asked, knowing the answer. He had to be more gentle. 

 

Dick glanced around and Slade immediately knew he was going to be privy to a secret. “Don’t tell anyone but sometimes… he kind of just sucks them.” He giggled. Oh, _yes_. 

 

“Oh, easy. I can do that.” Slade said casually. Dick studied him as he took the last bite of banana. 

 

“I mean, he’s always going on about contaminating the milk and stuff…” 

 

“But he sucks it out with his mouth?” 

 

“Well, if he does, he doesn’t **sell** it, of course.” 

 

“No, no, I understand, he’s drinking it.” Slade said. “Well, like I said, if you are too shy for me, I understand.” 

 

“I’m not really shy. I promise.” Dick said, putting his hand up in a swear. 

 

“Let me ease you, then. I promise back, that I will be extremely gentle.” 

 

Dick checked both ways and then squirmed a bit. Slade was hot with lust, looking at Dick’s dripping nipples and cock was setting him right off. “Okay, okay.” He whispered conspiratorially. 

 

Slade set down his bag. He was going to enjoy this. He dropped slowly to his knees and Dick leaned over and finally, finally, Slade’s lips were on his nipples. If the first taste was heaven, the second was godly. He sucked gently, true to his word. He head Dick moan as he drank the warm liquid. Then he popped off of the nipple and heard a little gasp. Right. Gentle. Gentle. He switched nipples and sucked on the other one equally. When he let go, Dick leaned back up. Without really thinking, Slade wrapped his lips next around Dick’s dripping member. Dick nearly whimpered as Slade sucked and sucked, drinking up all the milk inside that he could handle. When he let go, Dick took a step back. 

 

“How is that?” 

 

“M-much better. What- what do you think?” 

 

“Definitely the sweetest milk I’ve ever had.” Slade said, standing. 

 

Dick cleared his throat. “You’re hard.” 

 

“Yes, well, you’re irresistible.” Slade said shamelessly. 

 

“Don’t tell anyone I let you, okay?” 

 

Slade laughed. “Who would I tell, Little Cow?” 

 

 

* * *

 

Jason was getting suspicious. “I’m telling you, B, I can’t find Dick anywhere lately like… around, maybe early evening. Right before it gets dark. I turn around, and he’s gone.” 

 

Bruce mussed for a while, before saying “A few weeks ago I caught him eating White Whistle Weeds.” 

 

Jason tried to look innocent, but he grinned a little too much, “Oh, where?” 

 

Bruce gave him a stern look. 

 

“What?!” Jason asked, pretending to be incredulous. 

 

“It doesn’t matter, Jay, I cut them.” 

 

“So you think Dick is looking for more?” 

 

“Maybe he found some. I better walk the property.” Bruce said. 

 

“I can do it.” 

 

“And eat the flowers?” 

 

“You know those aren’t good for you, Jason.” Tim said. He was grooming his ears in the dirty mirror that was hanging in the corner of the barn. 

 

“Y _ou know those aren’t good for you_ ,” Jason mocked, but Bruce flicked his ear. “Ouch!” 

 

“Tim is right.” 

 

“You’re going to get fat.” Damian said, smiling cruelly. 

 

“Yeah, because we don’t get enough exercise and we eat those every day.” 

 

“They aren’t good for your digestive track either.” Bruce told him, but Jason rolled his eyes behind Bruce’s back. 

 

Just then Dick walked in. All eyes went to him and the big grin on his face. “Uh…” It melted right off. “Hi.” 

 

“Where have you been?” 

 

“I was…” Silence. 

 

“In the place I told you not to go?” 

 

“I wasn’t… I mean, there’s no flowers over there anymore. You didn’t say not to go there, just to… not eat the flowers.” 

 

“I didn’t happen to miss any flowers, Dick?” 

 

“No.” Dick said guiltily. 

 

“Where were you?” Bruce repeated. 

 

“In the corner of the field, in the- where those flowers were.” Dick said, pointing. Hurriedly, he added, “Really, there’s no flowers over there anymore!” 

 

“Tomorrow,” Bruce stood up, looking Dick intensely in the eye, “I’m going over every inch of this field, and I better not find any hoof-prints near any White Whistle Weeds, Dick.” 

 

“Well, you won’t, because I wasn’t eating them!” _I was eating bananas instead._

 

Bruce nodded once and sat on his stool. “I’m sorry I couldn’t milk you this morning.” 

 

“It’s okay.” Dick said. 

 

“Everyone else is done, why don’t you put a hoof up?” Dick put his hoof on the tree stump stool next to Bruce so he could better reach. “And Dick?” Dick cocked his head at Bruce, “Don’t come in after sundown. It makes me nervous.” 

 

 

 

 


	2. Jason Demands Peaches at Slade’s Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Slade/Dick, Dick/Jason, and Slade/Jason  
> >:D Enjoy!

 

Dick was careful not to return too late to the barn for a while, even though the next day Bruce didn’t find anything he deemed too unhealthy for his boys on the farm. But Slade didn’t see Dick that day, nor the next. He was beginning to worry that his little milking stunt scared him away, but the third day when he came by the fence, his mouth spit into a huge and hugely _real_ smile. “Dick!” 

 

“Hi! Sorry I haven’t been here.” 

 

“Have you been well?” Slade asked, approaching the fence. He hurriedly shoved some skins in his bag so Dick wouldn’t see them. 

 

“I’m okay. Bruce was worried because I came home too late the other day and… well, I guess… I’m not really supposed to talk to you.” He blushed, ears drooping. 

 

Slade watched the ears greedily for a bit as he said “Oh? Why’s that?” 

 

“It’s just you’re a stranger…” 

 

“Ah. Well, I’m not a stranger to you, am I?” Slade asked. “Want a peach?” 

 

The ears perked up now and Slade gave Dick half a peach. Dick took a bite and enjoyed it as Slade scratched his ears, hard in his jeans already. He played with Dick’s horns for a bit. “Jason was asking where I was, too.” Dick said, mouth full of peach and voice dreamy and low. 

 

“Hm. Sounds like your herd is worried.” 

 

“I think Jason is just curious. He was saying yesterday that it looked like I gained weight.” 

 

“You have a bit.” Slade admitted. Dick’s hand immediately went to his middle. Slade laughed. “It’s fine, you look good.” Good enough to drink. “I’m not giving you anything too unhealthy, besides flowers.” 

 

“Expensive, though.” 

 

“Well, you’re worth it. Besides, I find a good deal of them free in the forest.” 

 

“Is that what you do? Take them to market?” 

 

“Pretty much.” Slade said. “Perhaps I’ve seen this Bruce there.” 

 

“Maybe you have.” Dick said brightly. “Black hair, blue eyes, real tall.”

 

“HM. Maybe.” _Yes. Definitely_. And he did not like Slade one bit. 

 

“I’ve never been out of the fence, so I don’t know how common he is. No one is taller than Bruce here on the farm, though. Jason’s close, though.” 

 

 

 

Jason looked up at the sun to gauge the approximate time before he trotted lightly around the barn. Of course Dick was missing again. “Tim, have you seen Dick?” 

 

“No.” Tim said, but he was distracted trying to reach some succulent grasses that were peeking out from the barn.  

 

“Damian?” 

 

“I’m not his shepard, Jason.” 

 

“Shepard are for sheep.”Tim corrected automatically with a grunt as he took hold of the grass and pulled.  

 

As the two of them squabbled, Jason went around back. He could still smell on the ground the scent of light rain, and he thanked his stars that it had come. He looked around a bit, and eventually managed to find a hoof-print. He followed it to the next one, and the next. He grinned. Were those leading to the corner of the property? He followed them. 

 

 

Slade was breaking bread in front of the fence, where he had spread a thick blanket that he used in winter to keep himself warm. Dick was sitting on the inside of the fence, little hooves tucked neatly to one side under his bottom. He was alternating between some of the grasses in the field and the peach, enjoying it slowly. Slade spread some cheese on the bread he was snacking on and Dick peered through the first beam. “Is that ours?” 

 

“What? Oh, no. I had to finish what was in my fridge. But I think I may start to buy yours.” Slade admitted. He’d rather just drink it straight, but since his little cow was so adamant about the subject he thought perhaps it would make him happy that he purchased it. Maybe he would score a few points. If Bruce let him. He was picky about some of his clientele, even if it meant loosing money. 

 

Slade enjoyed some cherries, biting half and removing the seeds so Dick could eat the other half. They ate in companionable silence until Dick broke it to ask, “Do you want some milk?” 

 

Slade stared at him, surprised, for a second, then said “Well, if you don’t mind,” restraining himself from a series of ‘yeses’ that threatened to spill from his mouth. Looking around quickly, Dick stood up and searched the trees behind him for any movement. Then, with adventure in his eyes, he went a few steps forward, flipped, placed one hand on the fence, and was over it with the second flip, landing behind Slade. Slade applauded. Dick sat next to him on the blanket, laughing. “

Very nice, very nice! Ten out of ten!” 

 

Dick laid his head in Slade’s lap. “Give me a cherry, judge.” He whispered. They both laughed, and Slade gave him half a cherry, taking care to suck on it a little before offering it. Then Dick sat up and moved closer. Slade leaned down, taking one nipple into his mouth, and sucked gently, then harder, because the milk wasn’t coming out. When it did, it was incredible in flavour, and Slade fondled the other nipple a little, listening to Dick’s moans and whines. When he felt a little milk dribble out, he licked his finger, then the tit, lapping it up. “You like this.” Dick accused without any fire. Slade sucked harder for a second and Dick moaned. He pulled off. 

 

“So do you.” He retaliated, and Dick blushed. Without waiting any longer than it took to register the slight red around his cheeks, Slade dove back down, further this time, to suckle the sensitive cock now leaking milk generously. “Mmmm… were you milked today, little cow?” 

 

“Y-yeah.” dick said. 

 

“It doesn’t seem that way.” Slade said, and he sucked harder. Dick practically squealed, but he didn’t move his bottom half. His top half bent backwards in pleasure, though. “Such a good cow, aren’t you? Well trained not to move when I do this,” Slade flicked his tongue against the tip and Dick moaned for him. 

 

“Oh, Slade, that feels really good!” 

 

“Your milk tastes amazing.” Slade growled, then he moved down on the member, back up, down again, sucking the excess milk provided with every thrust. Suddenly, Dick’s ears went up. 

 

“Slade, wait, wait”

 

“Mmm?” 

 

“I hear something. Hide, hide, hide!” Dick whispered, pulling himself away from Slade’s grabbing hands. In a second he was over the fence, still holding his half of peach. “Go! Get out of here!” Dick stage whispered in earnest. Slade grabbed his sling-bag and blanket and dragged it off into the trees a little ways away. He could hear it now, too, the tell tale sound of hooves through trees. 

 

Then he was visible. This was Slade’s first time seeing him up close. It was the big one. His hair was white spotted like his bottom, and his eyes blue like Dick’s. He was taller, and Slade could see, with longing, that this one’s cock hung heavy with milk. He swooshed his tail as if annoyed. 

 

“Heya, Dick.” 

 

“Hi Jason.” Dick said guiltily. 

 

“Who are you talking to?” 

 

“…. myself?” 

 

Slade slimly avoided actually facepalming. _Oh, foolish cow. At least pretend you weren’t- get rid of the peach!_

 

But it was too late. Jason’s eyes alighted on it. “What’s that?” 

 

Dick looked down. “Uh…it’s … a peach half.” 

 

It was only a quarter now, but Jason wasn’t stupid. Peaches didn’t come naturally in halves. “Hm. Where’d you get that?” 

 

“I found it. Inside the fence.” Dick added the last part a little too strongly. Jason grinned at him. 

 

“Oh. You found it.” 

 

“Yeah….” Dick said slowly. 

 

“Give it to me, or I’m telling Bruce.” 

 

“What? Telling him what?” 

 

“That you’re taking food from someone over here.” 

 

“I found it!” 

 

Jason shrugged. “So where’s the seed?” 

 

“I threw it.” 

 

“If you think Bruce will believe that. He can always leave the fence and look, after all.” Dick glared at him, then handed over the peach quarter. Jason ate it in one bite. “You look like you need to be milked, Dick.”

 

Dick blushed and shifted a little on his feet. Slade licked his lips from his bush and mentally pined for his interrupted play. Jason stepped forward. “Bend over.” He ordered. Dick looked at the ground, saying something Slade couldn’t hear. 

 

“Oh, no, no, no.” Jason said with a huge smile, nice and loud. “If there wasn’t anyone out here giving you peaches, it doesn’t matter very much that you let me milk you right. Here.” 

 

Dick hesitated for only a second, then bent over, and Slade’s heart leapt into his chest as Dick’s hands hit the fence for support. Slade struggled to get his cock into his hand as Jason positioned his member to fuck Dick. He was in with a single thrust and Dick cried out. Jason began milking himself immediately, pounding into Dick’s hole at the same time. Ohhhh Slade longed to be filled like that. 

 

“Don’t be so! Rough! Oh god that’s good! Oh! Jason! Please! Not so hard!” 

 

“Who’s the leader? Who’s the leader, Dick?” 

 

“You are!” 

 

“You get food, what do you do?” 

 

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Jason please!” 

 

“What do you do?” Jason asked again. Dick’s final milk spilled out onto the ground with force as he screamed with pleasure.  Jason pumped himself a few times and pulled out. He was still full of milk, but Slade had to admit Dick probably couldn’t take anymore. Milk was pouring from his ass and he’d clearly had enough. Slade took a moment to fantasise about Jason pumping him full of milk until it hurt, just like that. Soon after that Slade was cumming, too. As he finished, moaning gently and quietly as he could with his powerful release, he heard Dick answer.

 

“I give it to you, first.” It was more of a mumble. 

 

Then Jason turned tail and sauntered haughtily back into the trees. Dick watched him as best as he could through the patches of green until finally, he felt safe enough to talk to Slade. 

 

When he turned around he clutched his heart. Slade was right in front of the fence. “Hm. So Jason likes peaches too?” 

 

Dick coughed. “Slade, don’t let Jason see you out here, okay?” 

 

“What’s the matter, little cow, don’t want to share?” 

 

Dick gave him a look that plainly said ‘No, I really don’t.’

 

“He’s waisted your extra milk.” 

 

Dick grinned “To be fair, I _was_ going to blame him.” He blushed. 

 

 

The next day Slade took the farm path into the forest, he was surprised to see Jason standing on the other side of the tree patch, where Dick usually hid, waiting for Slade. He was eating the grass there as if it was nothing, but Slade slowed as he approached, curious. Jason looked up. Slade could feel his eyes following him as he walked, but he didn’t look at Jason. He just whistled and kept going on his way. He stopped a grin when Jason addressed him. 

 

“Hey. Hey!” 

 

Slade turned around and pointed at his chest as if to ask _me_?

 

Jason grinned and leaned against the fence with a smile. “Got any peaches?” 

 

“Sorry?” 

 

“Do you. Have. Any peaches?” 

 

Slade smiled back, trying not to look at the heavy erection between the fence beams. “Ah. You must be Dick’s herd leader.” 

 

“Eyes up, perv.” Jason said, and Slade dragged his eyes back up to Jason’s face. Not as pretty as Dick, but more milk. Alluring in his own right. Aggressive, and Slade liked that. 

 

“You’ve quite the sack there.” Slade commented. 

 

“You’ve quite the hard-on there.” 

 

“Doesn’t Bruce milk you, Jason?” 

 

“Do you have any peaches?” Jason repeated. 

 

Slade sighed. He reached into his bag, took a step forward, and pulled out a ripe peach. “This?” He asked. Jason made a grab for it, but Slade’s hand danced out of reach. “Dick and I are pretty good friends, Jason.” he said. 

 

“I can be your friend.” Jason said casually. Slade grinned at him, wondering if he should show his hand. “I’m not stupid.” Jason added after a second. “Dick gives you milk and you give him peaches. Done deal. I have excess.” He put his hand out for the peach. 

 

There was a chance of course that he might get it and run away, but Slade was willing to risk it. It was only a peach, and the trick could only be played once. Slade dropped to his knees and offered the peach to Jason, who took it. The first bite, Slade was already sucking. Mmmm. Just as sweet and twice as much. Slade drank and drank, Jason thrusting slightly, and Slade realized he was two for two. Not only was he getting a treat, but he was getting a nice cock-suck milking out of this deal. With his excess milk, it had to be more comfortable to get rid of it than to keep it, and judging by the little grunts and moans he was letting out every few minutes, he was enjoying the experience. 

 

Slade let the milk dribble out of his mouth, covering him. Soon he was fumbling with his pants as he drank. Then he had his piece in his hand. He used the warm milk splashing on it as lubricant as he moaned on Jason’s pole. He sucked and pumped for a minute or two, lost in ecstasy. 

 

Jason was not at all like Dick. He was stomping and marking the ground, and his free hand gripped the fence. Peach juice ran sloppy down his arm and dripped onto the ground. Then he was flowing hard and heavy into Slade’s mouth. Slade drank what he could, stomach full of the liquid, and let the remainder soak his cock. He beat off in a warm haze as milk dribbled onto him. Letting himself feel the release, he leaned against the fence and just breathed in and out. After a minute, above him, he heard the smacking of a peach being eaten. Finally, he stood. 

 

Jason seemed unabashed. _Confident, isn’t he?_ Slade thought. 

 

“Maybe next time you should consider which cow is going to put out more.” He said. 

 

“Hm. Plenty of peaches to go around.” Slade replied. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I breathe comments. Thank you to all the wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter! You can also [find me on Tumblr!](https://yeahyouwishforme.tumblr.com)


	3. Damian Doesn’t Blush, Not Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 100% dedicated to Chiaki. I hope you like Timmy. This chapter… Everyone with everyone. Robinpile, with Slade, and some Bruce is in there too. This chapter is MOSTLY sex TBH.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s late! I was on the plane home when I was supposed to be posting this, and arrived to find that the people who were watching my cats didn’t clean anything even once despite the fact they were living there, and the whole place was in squalor. Nice.

That morning Bruce refused to milk Jason the way he wanted. He and Dick both pouted at him, and Dick insisted his nipples were sore and needed extra care that morning. Bruce stood his ground. He milked them like regular, mostly. For Dick, he let him have a prostrate milking, which naturally made Jason jealous. He was the head of the herd, so why did Dick get a prostrate milking? He demanded Bruce suck his milk out, scratching his hooves on the ground aggressively, but Bruce just threatened the vice. 

 

Jason stood relatively still as Bruce milked him slow. At the very least, he was stroking instead of squeezing, which was a much better feeling. But while he was at it, Jason was already having bitter thoughts about the man at the fence. He would get a good milking _and_ a treat. When Bruce was headed to town, Jason searched Dick out, separating them from the other two in the field. “So the other day I managed to get a peach out of your friend.” 

 

Dick pouted, “Don’t tell Bruce, please Jason?”

 

“Sure, yeah. So you never gave the guy any milk at all, I guess?” 

 

“What?” Dick saw the look on Jason’s face and owned up. “I gave him a few tastes…” 

 

“Huh. I wonder what Bruce would say.” 

 

“Jason, come on! Don’t tell anyone!” 

 

“I won’t.” Jason said, “If you don’t. We’re ditching these two in the pasture and going to the fence tonight.”

 

“Jason, you know they’re gonna fight.” 

 

“Well, we can’t take them with us, obviously.” Jason said. Dick sighed. Jason hooved the ground impatiently. “Look, it’s Bruce’s own fault for not milking us nicely this morning. It’s not like we asked for the moon. And when was the last time Bruce gave us a peach?” 

 

“It’s not that… it’s just that Slade is a really nice guy. We shouldn’t take so much advantage.” 

 

“Oh, yeah? Is that why you never told us about him?” 

 

“Actually yes! I thought you were gonna do this. Exactly what you’re doing.” 

 

“And what’s that?” 

 

“Exploit him!” 

 

“You’re coming or you’re not coming, end of story, Dick.” Jason said fiercely. Dick’s tail went back and forth angrily. “You’re lucky I told you at all.” 

 

So it was that when Slade came to the fence that day, he saw exactly what he had wanted. Not one cow, but two, waiting together. Jason had his arms crossed and was clearly impatient while Dick was rooting around for anything good to eat. Really, he was such a glutton. “My, my, my. What have I done to deserve this?” 

 

“There you are! We’ve been waiting for a while.” Jason said, though it was flirtatious. 

 

“I’m sure you have. But where’s the rest of the herd?” 

 

“Well, aren’t you greedy.” Jason said. 

 

“I’m not the one who offered my milk for a peach, Tough Cow.” 

 

“Don’t call me ‘Tough Cow.’ How about I call you Tough Human?” 

 

“It’s makes no difference to me. And how are you, Little Cow?” Slade asked as Dick came trotting up to the fence. 

 

“Sorry about Jason. He’s annoyed with Bruce.” 

 

“Shut up!” 

 

Dick shrugged. 

 

“Why’s that?” Slade inquired. 

 

“Why’s what?” 

 

“Why are you annoyed with Bruce?” Slade asked, though he was sure he knew the answer.

 

Dick cut in again, “He didn’t milk Jason the way he wanted this morning.”

 

Jason shot him a glare. “So? I’m gonna get a good milking right now.” 

 

Slade grinned. “Well, if you insist.” 

 

“Peach.” Jason said, holding out his hand. 

 

“Ah. I have no peaches today.” Jason stomped his foot irritably. “But I do have these.” Slade reached into his bag and, perhaps a bit too flamboyantly, produced a bag of sugar cubes. 

 

“Jackpot!” 

 

“Sugar!” 

 

“I suppose I could spare two or three.” 

 

“Three. Each.” Jason said. 

 

“Sugar, sugar, sugar!” Dick chanted. 

 

“Very well, each.” Slade said, still feeling he was getting the good end of the bargain. “At the very least, you can… what was it? Get a good milking?” 

 

“Sugar cubes first.” Jason said. Slade had to admit he was impressed with this little cow’s audacity and acceptance of being a whore for him. After all, Slade was paying them, in a cow sense. But he said nothing, handing over the sugar without complaint or comment. 

 

Dick ate his immediately. Jason put his on the fence post. Then he backtracked and took one, popping in his mouth. As he sucked it, he stamped one foot up on the bottom rung of the fence. “Milk me.” He demanded. Slade dropped to his knees almost worshipfully, making Jason grin. 

 

“I like your style.” Slade said. If he could skip foreplay entirely, he’d take it. He wrapped his lips eagerly around Jason’s cock, sending shivers down his spine. Dick walked around to the side of Jason so he could get a better view. Slade flicked his eyes up to Dick’s and watched him swallow nervously. He hid behind Jason a bit, and Slade’s mouth split into a grin despite the milking. 

 

“Harder.” Jason commanded throatily. Slade increased his pressure and speed, and was rewarded with a small jet of milk. Ahhh… he watched Jason physically relax, then stomp his foot, bringing it down from the fence. He kicked when Slade let go with his lips to lick Jason’s member tip to base. “Fucking… tease…” 

 

Another jet of milk that Slade swallowed, humming around the thickness in his mouth. Jason thrust forward demandingly. Slade took the extra length with ease. He distinctly heard Dick whimper and looked up to watch him. What he saw behind him was even more satisfactory. 

 

There in the trees was another little cow. This was was actually little, though not dainty in the least, and Slade recognised him and knew he wasn’t the smallest. He was peering through the bushes with the wickedest grin and stroking himself lazily. When Slade’s eyes locked with his, Tim- for this must be Tim- brought his hand up and licked beads of milk from them, never looking away. Slade moaned and his eyes closed of his own accord, just as Jason put his hands on the back of Slade’s neck and began to thrust in earnest. He was squiring milk now, and Slade drank it up each time Jason pulled out enough for Slade to swallow. 

 

When the release was over, Jason stepped back a bit, hoofing the ground and moaning. Then he stilled, except his tail. Slade chanced a glance behind him into the bushes. Tim was still there, sloppily cleaning stray milk droplets from his fingers. It seemed that Slade had been bribing the wrong cow. The other two seemed promiscuous enough. It was nothing to regret, though. Slade knew now that he could have three. Perhaps four. Damian was young. It was possible Slade could … groom him somewhat. 

 

Slade turned his mind to Dick, who was blushing gorgeously. “Well then, Little Cow. What shall I do with you?” Dick marked the ground, clearly nervous. Slade stepped forward. “Or perhaps, what shall you do to me?” 

 

“Fuck that, no.” Jason cut in.

 

“Problem?” 

 

“If you want someone to fuck you, it’s gonna be me, Slade. Now fuck that cow pussy. Give me a good show and it… encourages milk production.” 

 

Slade and Jason exchanged smiles boarding on the evil, then Slade motioned for Dick to turn around. Dick shrugged. “I don’t see why we can’t both fuck him.” He said innocently. Even the word fuck didn’t sound strong on his lips. 

 

“I’m first.” Jason said. 

 

“Is it true, then, that cowboys are self-lubricating?” 

 

“Yep.” Dick and Jason said in unison, the former with joy and the later matter-of-factly. 

 

“Perfect.” Slade purred. He grabbed Dick’s hips and stoked himself once, then positioned and pushed in. “Fuck…” He swore as Dick moaned. 

 

Slade ended up doing very little work. Dick was moving back onto his cock after all, and his little tail was really going now. Slade’s toes were already curling, but he had specifically chose an angle that allowed him to look Tim in the eye if he was sly about it. He pushed in, and licked his lips for Tim to see. Tim sucked milk off his finger. Then Slade merely leaned back on the fence and let Dick’s wet cowboy hole envelop him as he moaned at the sky, occasionally looking down at Tim and smacking Dick’s rump or fiddling with his tail, ears, or horns. 

 

“He loves it.” Jason teased after a minute. 

 

“He’d gonna keep loving it.” Slade remarked. He pulled Dick’s ears and Dick cried out. Slade wasn’t sure if it was pain or pleasure, but he loved that sound. Very soon the wet, sloppy noise of Slade pounding into Dick’s lubricated ass was driving Slade to the edge. Jason looked on happily as Slade released inside of Dick, moaning the whole way through. Finally he let go of Dick’s ears to enjoy his climax, but Dick wasn’t stopping. He reached for Slade’s hands, and when offered he caught his wrists to steady himself as he pushed back. His moans and cries filled the air as he finished himself on Slade’s cock, bouncing back as hard as he could until- 

 

“Wow, Dickie, that must have been a whole litre.” Jason remarked with a grin as Slade pet Dick’s furry rump through his orgasm. Dick was panting hard and gulping in air, practically crying with release. 

 

“I’m guessing you got water in this bag.” Jason said, going for it. Slade was faster, pulling out of Dick with surprising speed to grab his satchel. Dick cried out and Jason said “Woah, tiger, slow the fuck down.” Slade handed them both half a water bottle and stroked Dick’s ass gently.

 

“I’m sorry Little Cow. Quite forgot myself, didn’t I?” 

 

Dick took long dregs of water. Suddenly remembering, Slade looked up to the forest trees extending in to the property. He didn’t see Tim anymore. 

 

“You want more? Come back tomorrow. Bring some White Whistle Weeds.”

 

“Jason, you’re going to put on weight.” Slade warned him playfully. 

 

“Then don’t come. Makes no difference to me.” Jason said. He stalked off. 

 

Slade looked at Dick. They both said, “yes, it does,” in unison, then they both smiled. 

 

 

 

That day was strange for Damian. One minute, he was just trying to reach a fruit tree on the other side of the fence. He wasn’t supposed to, of course, but who would care? His father wasn’t there to scold him, and Tim was around the other side of the barn. When Damian couldn’t reach, he didn’t make a fuss with Jason or Dick. He just stepped up on the fence’s first beam, slipped, and fell off. He looked around to see if anyone had seen or if Jason would make a mockery of him, but he stopped blushing when he saw … no one. Where had Jason and Dick gone? He didn’t care. He stood back on the fence and got the tangerine from the lowest branch. He ate it by himself, proud that he could receive such a treat without getting caught. Jason was a real bully about food. 

 

Then he strolled causally around the other side of the barn to see where everyone was. No one. Even Tim was gone. Damian crossed his arms. He searched everywhere. All in the barn, through the pastures. He wasn’t worried. “-tt- Of course not.” He wasn’t lonely. “-tt- No matter.” He didn’t feel abandoned, **at all.** “Hmph. It’s better on my own.” 

 

He ended up sitting on the hay near the barn, and he wasn’t holding back tears at all, when Tim suddenly came prancing out of the forest and straight to the barn, as if he hadn’t seen Damian at all. Damian stared at the door he had gone through. Then he peeked in and immediately… did not blush furiously. At all. 

 

And he didn’t look. Even a little bit. 

 

He didn’t watch as Tim laid across two hay bales and played with his long, thin sex. He didn’t see Tim biting his lip as he stroked himself. He didn’t see Tim pouring milk into the hay as he climaxed, and he didn’t hear the wanton moaning spilling from his lips. And Damian didn’t blush. Not at all. And he didn’t feel hot, or curious, or suddenly like he needed a firm milking. He didn’t feel at all strange about that, being half-human, and knowing what a firm milking really _meant_. 

 

But Damian did see and hear Dick and Jason coming from the other side of the field, out of the trees. Where they weren’t supposed to go… because there were White Whistle Weeds there. Damian stood back from the door and slipped off a few paces, taking a handful of hay to munch on. He did so a little ways off as he watched Jay and Dick come in, laughing and looking… hm. Something. Damian wasn’t sure what, but they looked… something. Well fed, maybe? 

 

Damian flushed furiously. He resolved to go into the forest corner and see if his Father had somehow missed the weeds. It would be helpful, after all. He had no interest in eating them. None at all. 

 

Damian had never tried White Whistle Weeds, actually, and of course he was curious, just as he was lonely without his brothers. He just wanted a taste, and there they were gorging themselves and leaving Damian alone with just a tangerine?! It was unforgivable.  

 

Maybe Damian was a little cooler to Richard that evening, but Dick never seemed to notice such things. He seemed, in fact, to have endless patience with Damian. 

 

Bruce called them all in shortly after, and Damian absolutely. did. not. blush. when Bruce asked if Tim was sick. “I didn’t get much from you, Tim. Are you coming down with something?” 

 

“I feel fine.” Tim said. 

 

I’m sure you do. Damian thought. 

 

“Dick, you’re almost flaccid, too. Are you two sick?” 

 

“Sorry, B. I don’t know… maybe I’m not producing so much right now…” 

 

“Could be weather changes.” Tim provided. 

 

 _Oh, yes. Weather changes._ Damian rolled his eyes. 

 

“Could be…” Bruce mumbled thoughtfully. “Foot up, Jay.” 

 

Damian studied his father’s expression as he squeezed Jason. Bruce never got hard doing this, and he rarely gave in when Jason or Dick asked for something else, saying he had to keep the milk pure. But Damian wasn’t sure how he was doing it. Maybe because he was half cow himself, but he found these beautiful cocks too splendid. He’d had many wet dreams about Richard, and woken up while spilling milk all over his loft. And he knew his father liked cows! Otherwise how did he come to be? Dick sometimes accused Bruce of liking the milking, and when Damian said otherwise he’d only retort, “Well, it’s different for you, Dami.” 

 

It sure was. 

 

Damian wanted Richard to milk him. He wanted Tim to milk him just as he’d done to himself earlier that day. “Not much from you, either, Jay.” Bruce said. “How are you feeling?” 

 

“What? That’s plenty.” Jason said irritably. 

 

Damian seemed to have something buzzing in the back of his brain suddenly. 

 

“It’s half of what you usually put out.” Then Bruce repeated, “How are you feeling.” 

 

“I’m _fine_. Jeez.” Jason plopped down on some hay. 

 

Damiana looked between the three of them for a second. Something wasn’t right. Why would all three of them have such a small amount of milk compared to usual? Unless… 

 

“Are you wasting their milk, Jason?” Bruce asked. 

 

“No. I wasn’t even anywhere near Tim today. And I didn’t touch Dick even once.” 

 

“Oh, really?” Bruce asked sarcastically. 

  
“It’s true, B.” Dick confirmed. 

 

“I haven’t seen them at all, in fact. Where were you two?” Tim asked. 

 

Bruce studied his boys. “What?” Jason asked Tim, “We were just on the other sides of the barn.” 

 

“Funny. I didn’t see you there.” Damian said. Dick looked nervously at him. 

 

“Damian?” Bruce asked, but with an air of impatience. Damian stepped forward and spread for Bruce, not at all blushing. Bruce prodded his stomach a few times to get him to relax and let him know what was coming, but Damian seized up instead, which only lengthened the time spent on this step. Finally he forced himself to relax. Then, as Bruce always did, he took his thumb and forefinger, grasped the very base of Damian’s boyhood, and squeezed him a few times. Damian stomped on the ground. “What’s the matter?” 

 

“Nothing.” Damian said. It felt… somehow… better than usual. 

 

There was a distinct difference between a milking a firm milking. A milking occurred when you were, of course, milked by the farmer. A firm milking, on the other hand, occurred when you or the farmer or both of you… were really, really into the milking part. Damian knew a firm milking required some stroking or some prostrate work or some sucking (Jason was verbal about how much he liked to be firmly milked). A regular milking was like a squeezing motion. It usually didn’t feel like much of anything. Bruce kept going, his fingers innocent and swift, but Damian was reacting very differently this time. When he began to flow, it was a real flow, like he’d seen Jason do. Bruce looked at his flushed face and stopped immediately. 

 

“Jason.” He said, “I need you to take Tim and Dick out. I forgot something in the car.”

 

“Why do we all-?” 

 

“Now.” Bruce said. Damian looked down. No, no, no. He didn’t want to have this conversation. Bruce tossed him the keys and Jason caught them. “There’s apples in the back seat.” 

 

“What!” Tim said. Dick and Jason looked like Christmas had come early. 

 

“now, wait. I’m using most of those to make pies with Mrs. Kent this weekend, so you only take two, and you split them. Be fair, Jason. You don’t get more just being you’re the herd leader.” Jason scowled. “And Tim you save half, and I mean _half_ , for Damian. Go on.” 

 

They made quick work of leaving. As soon as Bruce was sure they had gone out, he said, “Damian, I know this topic might be a little embarrassing. But… I see you’re pretty worked up today. Would you like to… just do the milking yourself?” 

 

“..es…” Damian whispered. Bruce stood up and went outside the barn. 

 

Damain didn’t hold back any longer. He was still flushed, but in seconds he was pitched over the pale, stroking himself as Tim had done that night, and cumming his milk rather than spurting it. The heaviest was at the end, and his nipples were still dripping with it as he rode it out, panting on all fours above the pail. Finally he came down. He took a while to clean up, making absolute sure that he could save face. Then he opened the barn door. But he couldn’t look Bruce in the eye. 

 

“Hey, Damian.” 

 

“Father, please don’t.” 

 

“It’s fine. It happens to all young cowboys and humans, occasionally. Of course this position is… a little different than usual. I just want you to feel safe about this. I’ll never milk you when you’re feeling that way.” Bruce didn’t add, _unless you wanted._ He didn’t think Damian was ready to hear that yet. 

 

“Yes, yes.” Damian said, apparently waving him off. He trotted to Tim to get his apple as soon as the others arrived. And only Damian knew that he allowed them extra time outside that night because Damian’s stink would be in the barn. _Along with Tim’s._  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t you LOVEEEE Dick trying to take the moral high ground? He always does.  
> This read is actually very short, isn’t it? Annoying, because the word count is high. Annoying and weird. Well I hope ya’ll enjoyed it anyway! Finally I’ve decided it might be good to tag this as crack.


	4. Won't Update Soon

Sorry everyone. My life is a total shit-storm and it makes it impossible to fill prompts or do any kind of porny writing. I'm barely keeping up with the things I WANT to write, and this isn't it right now. I'll come back when I'm ready.


	5. Slade is Reformed by Cowboy Cock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slade is reformed and starts to look for a job milking cowboys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it clear yet that I despise the image of Tim as some innocent sweetheart? Boy got urges.   
> Well, this is it! Thanks for sticking by this one and for words of encouragement as I was (eh, kinda still am) going through a very difficult time.

Slade leaned against the fence, resting his legs a little from his tiring day. He’d made a few kills and taken them home before he went the long way around and returned by the fence’s path. This way no one would see him, and he could still meet Jason and Dick. He was about an hour early all the same. They’d told him Bruce wouldn’t leave until almost evening. 

This weekend was going to be amazing. Bruce was leaving for the entire weekend and Jason was in charge of making sure everyone was milked- which he seemed to think of as free reign to fuck them all. Dick had confided to Slade before they had left the night before that he’d managed to convince Jason to let him milk Damian, because he was little and probably wouldn’t even understand what Jason was doing to him. Slade had cracked a smile. “But he’ll know when you’re doing it?” 

“I’m not gonna MILK milk him, Slade!” 

Well, so he claimed. Slade chuckled. Just over the sound he could hear hooves cracking sticks, and he turned around. A-ha. It wasn’t Jason and Dick at all. Tim had come from the trees, and his tail was really going. 

“Hi there.” 

“And how did you managed to get all the way out here?” Slade asked without greeting. He had an idea what this one was after. 

“I told Bruce I was going for a walk.” 

“That’s it, hmm? He must trust you.” 

“It’s fine. Every cowboy knows how to lie to a farmer.” 

“Have I got three guesses why you’re here?” 

“I’ll give you just one.” Tim said. 

“In that case, no playing around.” Slade replied, opening his satchel. “Pick your poison.” 

Tim smiled at him, crossing his arms. “I don’t need anything for my time. What’s your name?” 

Interesting. “Slade.” 

“I’m Tim.” Slade grinned at him, leaning on the fence, but he didn’t bother to tell Tim that he knew who he was. Tim didn’t smile in reply. “Why don’t you step over?” 

“Is that an invitation?” 

“Of course.” Tim took a step back, though clearly not from nerves, as Slade jumped the fence in one swift movement. “What are you gonna do now?” Tim asked, challenge in his eyes. 

“You are quiet the specimen. I’ve half a mind to milk you from the back, but I think I might prefer….” He let the sentence trail off, then turned around and gripped the fence with both hands. 

Tim laughed. “Tell me.” He said. 

“Fuck me.” Slade replied without pause. “Shoot your cream into me. Make me wet with you.” 

Tim chuckled this time, a much quieter sound. “You’re kind of a slut.” he remarked. 

“I like a cow with confidence.” Slade said. 

Tim sighed as if this was a waste of his time, but then Slade felt his arms wrap around him, and then his dick and fur rest against Slade’s form from behind, warm. Tim undid the clasps on Slade’s pants. “How long did you beg for Dick silently?” He whispered, close to Slade’s ear. He wasn’t as tall, but the affect was good. 

“Months.” 

Tim pulled Slade’s pants down roughly. “Rugged working man…. no underwear.” 

“Standard, isn’t it?” 

“Bruce wears underwear.” Tim said indifferently. He slid his fingers over his sex and nipples, wetting them, then pushed two into Slade unceremoniously. Slade bucked slightly and winced at the sudden intrusion. So Tim wanted to play rough, huh? 

“However do you know that, uh, I- wonder.” Slade managed to tease as Tim finger-fucked him. He forced his well-trained muscles to relax and take more, letting Tim go deeper with each thrust. He felt that filthy cow tongue licking his ears and pushed back on the fingers inside of him to show his appreciation. Tim hummed. 

“I let him fuck me, of course.” Tim said. 

“Lucky- man.” Slade grunted as Tim pushed another finger in. 

“You’d rather have milk up your ass, though, wouldn’t you?” 

“I’ll take it either way. And you don’t need to prepare me so thoroughly. I’m not as breakable as you might think.” 

“You’re only human, Slade.” 

“I can take it.” 

Tim pulled his finger out roughly. “Fine then.” He said, but Slade could hear a smile in his voice. Tim pushed down on Slade’s back and Slade moved down to the next rung on the fence so he was properly bent over. He felt the delicious slide of fur against his bare legs as Tim stepped up right behind him, so his hooves were touching Slade’s shoes. Tim rubbed his cock there. “You like that, don’t you?” 

“Fuck me already. I hate foreplay.” 

Tim laughed again, quiet and calm. “Maybe I’ll just leave you here like this.” 

“If you think you’re fast enough to get away, fine.” 

“No need for threats.” 

“Isn’t there? Now fuck me in the ass- let me drip your milk from my cunt.” 

Tim thrust in, but this time it wasn’t altogether unexpected. Slade knew what he liked now: sick things pouring from Slade’s mouth, dripping with venom and lust. Tim began to push in and pull out with force, moving his whole body, his hands gripping the top of the fence over Slade’s bent form. He showed no mercy, and through the blinding pleasure of Tim’s huge cow cock pummelling Slade’s prostrate was a spark of pain. After a few minutes, Tim half-whispered, half-grunted, “That’s not milk dribbling from your tight little cunt-hole. You’re bleeding.” 

“I feel only cow cock fucking me into oblivion.” Slade lied. 

Tim giggled, but the sound was far from giddy. It was almost evil. Slade loved it. “That’s milk.” He said, but he need not have. Slade could feel the squirt and slop of milk pouring into his ass. 

He moaned, quiet-like but erotic. In the way of appeasing Tim and begging for more simultaneously, he gasped out, “Yes! Yes! Fuck that cow cock into me! Make me a slut!” 

“I don’t need to make you anything.” 

“Make me a whore!” 

“I’ll pay you with milk.” Tim said, and he came more. Milk poured from his cock, Slade’s contractions squeezing him nicely. From each nipple came a dribble of fresh white, and Tim pulled out and grabbed Slade’s hair, guiding him roughly into place. “Suck.” 

Slade didn’t just suck his nipples. He licked them and nipped tiny bites onto the raised skin there until Tim was spent and pushed him back into the fence. Both of them feeling that Slade had been sufficiently punished, Tim laid on the grass, face up. Without asking, Slade settled at his feet and began to lick his hooves. 

“Fuck. You’re so sick. And my milk is still in you? How long are you going to hold it?” Slade moaned as Tim continued, “You disgusting little cunt, I should milk myself on your face, into your hair. You’d happily take anything I gave you, wouldn’t you?” 

“Yes. Fuck.” Slade’s tongue lapped at Tim’s hoof one more time, then he shot his load. He groaned once, hard and loud, then rode it out. A second later milk came pouring from his ass. He poised on all fours, panting into the grass, spent and used as Tim berated him. 

“You gross pig. I can’t believe you wanted me to give you a milk enema. Sick, aren’t you?” 

Slade wasn’t fooled. The way Tim was watching him, he might have introduced him to a new kink. 

Suddenly Slade looked past Tim, though, as some shapes caught his eye. “Company.” He said. Tim turned around to see Jason and Dick, one with his arms crossed and one with his jaw dropping to the ground in shock. 

“Hey guys.” Tim said casually, turning his attention back to Slade, who was busy licking his hooves.

“I see you’ve met Slade.” Jason said dryly.

“Yeah, he’s a real cow fucker.” 

“Tim!” Dick gasped.

“What?” Tim said, but he was grinning at Dick’s reaction. There was a short pause, then Tim said, “Hoof licker here hasn’t cum enough yet. Anyone want to do the honors?” 

“Where’s the food?” Jason asked. Slade pointed wordlessly to his satchel laying a few feet away. Dick and Jason were in it in no time, digging through and separating things between them. Tim just shook his head at them. 

After they munched on an apple each, Jason and Dick sauntered over to where Slade was busy cleaning Tim’s other hoof. “Fucked him already? Impatient.” Jason snorted. “Ever had a foursome, Tim?”

“Can’t say yes, so I better say no.” 

Dick giggled and massaged Slade’s upturned rump. “Looks so good.” 

“I’ll take the nipples for re-coop time.” Tim said, and he sat up. 

Jason nodded, “Sure. Dick, if you want that ass, you can have it.”

“Yes!”

“Ready for a treat, Slade?” Jason asked.

Slade made a noise to the affirmative. Soon Slade was being pounded by Dick, his nipples licked and sucked by Tim, and all the while he was balls deep in Jason. It couldn’t have been purer bliss. Unless. His thoughts strayed greedily to the youngest, Damian. He hadn’t had the chance to taste him yet… but Tim had come of his own free will, after all. Perhaps patience was all that was needed, or perhaps…not.

Slade didn’t take Tim, but when they were all spent of energy, Tim did partake of the seeds and flowers in Slade’s satchel. They all sauntered into the trees, laughing and eating, until at last Slade was lying alone in the small field beside the fence in the sun. The time for patience, he thought, was at an end. Now he had a plan of action. 

Slade arrived early at the farmer’s market the next morning and scoped the area for Bruce Wayne. He wasn’t notorious to everyone, but a few were casting him angry glances, and he knew many of them wouldn’t accept his cash, at least if they lived in town. Wayne was one of them, but Slade knew he could win him over with the right amount of leverage. He needed an in, and here it was in the form of an overworked farmer with four cows to care for. He stopped at Wayne’s booth.   
“Move along, Slade. You money’s no good here, even if I was finished setting up.”

“Hmmm… I’m not looking to shop.” 

“You best not be looking to sell either.” 

“Well, it’s not meat or hyde.” Slade said. “I’ve become aware that you’re looking for workers.” 

Bruce scoffed. “Yeah, and I’ve got no interest in you.” 

“Wayne, hear me out. No one in this place is willing to hire me, at least among those searching for any workers, but I feel you might understand the situation better. I’m not interested in living below the law any longer. I need an out.” 

Bruce looked him in the eye for a long time, both of them measuring. After a while, Bruce seemed to come to a decision. “You’re not telling me everything.” 

Slade sighed, crossing his arms. “Some of it might take some explaining, but we both have… dependents. I felt you might be interested in helping me earn mine back.” 

“Kids?” 

“Three.” Slade said. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a photo, handing it to Bruce, who examined it. After a while he seemed satisfied and handed it back wordlessly. “It’s been a while since I’ve been allowed to see them. My mistakes pushed my family away and have kept them that way for some time. I suppose in some ways I’ve been…” Slade didn’t finish, but changed the subject. It wasn’t so much a manipulation as truth. He missed them, but even if he cleaned up, he doubted Addie would ever let him see them again. “I just need a season. Something to get me into legal work and off the side. Something to get me out of town.” 

“I can’t deny the prospect of getting you out of town is compelling.” Bruce said. He turned his back and said no more. 

Three weeks. Four. Six. Ten. Slade spread himself thin, asking others to come on as a farm hand, to avoid suspicion with Wayne. Naturally, none would take him. He didn’t approach Wayne again until he had gone through the works, hoping it would convince him at least that he was serious. 

Bruce had his own cares. Tim had stopped producing milk almost entirely, and it was hurting his stock. Damian wouldn’t let him milk him at all- well, how could he blame him? But he still watched Slade doing his rounds, listened to the rumours that he was looking for real work, that no one had spotted hide nor hair of him in the forest setting traps. Bruce searched the woods himself one evening, loosing daylight hours on the farm, and found no traps. He went back another time, tailing Slade, and discovered he was planting, though gathering as well. It wasn’t really illegal, though. It wasn’t even immoral, Bruce had to admit. 

The next day when Slade arrived at the market, looking much worse for wear (and knowing without a doubt that he’d been followed), Bruce called to him. “Still looking?” 

“Yes, naturally. I suppose… what did I expect?” Slade shrugged. 

“Come over tonight.” 

Slade hesitated, then said, “Really?” 

“Just come over. No promises.” 

“Name the time.” 

When Slade arrived, Bruce let him in and gestured for Slade to sit at the half-set table, which he did, taking a look around. “So you need to get a few hands?” 

“It’d be nice to have someone permanent, but seasonal is fine. I know you’re trying to get back on your feel, but by doing this, you promise not to poach anymore. If I find out you’ve broken that promise, well, there are no more chances.” 

“Understood. As I’ve said, I’ve been interested in getting out of this business for a while. For my daughter, Rose, and my sons, Grant and Joseph, as well.” 

“Okay, then. Well, my primary issue is with the cowboys.” 

“Tell me.” Slade replied. 

“For one, they aren’t giving much milk anymore, and I think they need an experienced hand. How do you feel about cowboys?” 

“Ah. You’re looking for someone who gives firm milkings?” 

“If it bothers you, I’ve got tilling-”

“No, no. No need. Please, continue. I love cowboys.” 

“One of them… is my son. He’s coming of age in the cowboy style and needs…well.” 

“Yes, I understand, it’s not appropriate for you to milk him at a time where he’s sensitive.” 

“Speaking of sensitive, Tim doesn’t really like strangers.” 

There was a second of silence, then Slade said, “Really? Well, I’ve always had a way with cowboys. I think I can warm him up.” 

“Why don’t you give them all a try? But you can’t contaminate the milk, of course.” 

“Yes, I understand. Naturally.” 

“Jason and Dick will try to get you to do it. Tim likes hands, and he likes to be watched, especially by Jason.” 

Slade had noticed that. “Well, having his herd leader in the barn might help him get used to me.” 

“Jason requires a very firm hand. Not in the milking way. I mean he’s testy.” 

“I’ll keep it in mind.”   
“And Dick… he’s very sensitive sometimes, so I allow a little tit milking as long as you don’t contaminate the penis milk.” 

“Helpful tips.” Slade replied. 

“Glad to hear it. Feed them, milk them, and exercise them. Especially Dick. He was a show cow and likes to keep it up.” 

“A show cow, lovely. Ever thought of putting him in the spotlight again?” He asked.

Bruce gave a frustrated sigh. “I’d love to, but I haven’t the time-”

“Of course, of course. Well, perhaps I can get some information on shows in the area.” 

“I would like that.” 

“Are treats permitted?” 

“Well, I don’t have a lot of expendable income for them.” 

“Ah- sorry, I meant… treats from my own pocket. I have an orchard and a lot of the produce gets thrown out since I don’t sell.” 

“I hadn’t thought of that.” 

“I also collect from the forest, though not poaching- that’s not what I-”

“I know. Yes, of course. I would actually like that.” Bruce said, surprised at the sudden generosity, “Just keep them off of things with no nutritional value like sugar, White Whistle Weeds…” 

“Pine nuts?” 

“Those are alright. Just make sure they don’t gain too much weight. Cowboys aren’t like regular cows.”

“I’ll make sure they get plenty of active time.” 

“Great. And they’re pasture cowboys.” 

“I’d noticed that.” Slade said.

“Oh. Watch the corner next to the forest.” Bruce said suddenly, “White Whistle Weeds grow up there, and they like to sneak off to eat a few. And the orchard next to us on the east side. Sometimes Damian and Dick will flip off the fence to reach fruits that don’t belong to us.” 

“Well, hopefully a steady stream of fresh produce…” 

“Hopefully. Dick is quite a glutton.” 

Certainly he is.

“Sounds fine.” They shook hands as both of them stood, Bruce giving Slade a serious look. “Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Wayne.” 

“Only an opportunity to stop breaking the law. And please, call me Bruce.” 

“Bruce it is.” 

Then night when the bell rang, Jason and Dick raced to the barn to see who could get there first, and Tim started past them too late. He maintained he would have won, as he’d drawn even with Jason. Damian rolled his eyes at him. “-tt-” he said, “If we had all been racing, I think I know who would have won.” 

Tim glared at him. 

“Yes, of course. I would have, as I have feet instead of hooves.”

“Slade!” Tim, Dick, and Jason said in unison, and Slade grinned at them. 

“Well, well, well. Tandem responses now.” 

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Sputtered Dick. 

“Milking cowboys.” 

“Obviously they are referring to the fact that you’re inside the fence,” Damian said through clenched teeth. They all looked at him, and Damian gave a smug look. “What? It couldn’t have been more clear what you’ve all been doing.” 

“My, my, and you kept it a secret?” 

“Leverage, actually.” 

“I’m afraid your leverage is at risk. I’m here because I decided to ask Bruce Wayne if I could work the farm. He believes in second chances, doesn’t he?” 

“So you just up and asked him?” 

“No, no, of course not, Jason. I’ve been dropping hints for weeks that I’ve been considering a career change.” 

They all stared. “Slade…” Dick said quietly, his ears drooping. “You’re…. that poacher?” 

“Wayne mentioned me, I see. It’s not how I wanted you to find out.” 

“You didn’t want us to find out at all.” Tim said. 

“Possibly not.” 

“I’ve eaten tainted sugar cubes.” Dick whispered. Damian rounded on him, but pointed at Slade. 

“What!? This manwhore gave you sugar!?” 

“Tut tut, Damian. I resent that. You’re not going the way of sugar yourself.” 

Damian crossed his arms over his chest and Slade decided he was, in fact, going the way of sugar cubes, with that cute pout on his face. 

“Wow, all this time we somehow thought you were collecting fucking berries in the forest.” 

“That, too.” Slade said. “But please, boys, the point is I’m leaving that life behind.” 

They all stared. “Really?” Tim asked skeptically.

Jason snickered. “Oh? Wow. So… you were reformed by… cowboy cock?” 

“And ass.” Tim added. 

“And Dick.” Dick continued with a grin. The others groaned at the terrible joke, but Slade actually did chuckle. 

“Well, it was Dick who sealed the deal first. Bless you, sweet little cow.” He kissed Dick on the head, his ears flattened against his skull then popped back up. 

“You promise you won’t poach anymore?” 

“Well, I won’t have the time if I’m working the farm all day, now will I? And this way I can at least make sure all the milk goes into a pail. I must say, Bruce is getting worried that none of you are … ah… putting out.” 

“Romantic.” Tim said with a grin. 

“Was this about romance? Perhaps I was mistaken.” 

“But who will bring us apples?” Jason asked. 

“Apples?!” Damian screeched angrily, “What else did you give them?!” 

“I will, of course. Straight to the farm in the morning.” 

“Not with Bruce’s wages.” Tim said, shaking his head.

“Little Cow, I own an orchard.” 

“You own-?!” 

“Damian, shut up.” Tim hissed. 

“There’s no apple trees in the forest, boys. It’s pretty much nuts and pine trees, which are nut trees as well.” 

“You have pine nuts!?” 

“Damian, god damn!” Tim chided.

“Both of you shut your orange holes.” Jason retaliated.  
Tim cleared his throat, “Isn’t there a few things you like that might be hard to do if you’re collecting the milk?” 

“Well, I figure as long as I’m collecting equal to what Bruce Wayne had, he can’t really complain, now can he?” 

“Don’t you think Father will be suspicious?” 

“Oh, of course he will. But that doesn’t mean we can’t proceed. If it comes out, well, I hope you’ll all support what a good care-taker I am.” 

“-tt-”

“Well, Slade, I think we better get some physical activity in if you’ll be feeding us extra.” Jason said in a flirtatious voice.

“I’ll say.” Slade said with a grin. “Shall I milk by age?” 

“Hell no, you’re milking by rank. Which means me first.” Jason said. 

“As you wish.”   
Jason put his foot up on the stool, posturing, and Slade handed him an apple. He bit into it seductively, earning himself a grin as Slade passed apples to everyone else. Damian blushed a little as he received his from an overly-gentle hand, then snatched it as if it hadn’t been offered. Slade felt a spark of lust hit him, but he tore his gaze away and returned to Jason, washing his hands off casually before he took ahold of the offered cock. Jason took another bite of his apple and fixed Slade with a wicked stare. Slade pumped him and Jason’s eyes slid shut. Tim flushed and shifted, already hardening. 

A few pulls and Jason was milking into the bucket, moaning and gorging himself on apple. Slade kept sneaking glances to Damian, gauging his reaction among the taunt muscles of his face, determinedly void of emotion. But Slade could see it, and evidence was heavy between his legs. He was trying to hide it, but Slade knew that tonight he would have the whole set. 

A few more strokes of his talented hands and Jason was cumming milk, producing twice what he had been before. He fussed and kicked, but Slade moved his jean-clad cock right up against Jason’s ass and controlled him throughout his orgasm. Then he was milked and he stepped off the stool, giving Slade a long, lingering kiss that tasted like fresh apples. 

Dick didn’t posture, but he spread himself in a way that made Slade’s cock twitch and gave him such a coy look that Slade had to bite back a moan of his own. He knew he heard a little shuffle from Damian’s corner. Then he began to pull Dick off, fingering his ass gently. Dick moaned and bucked, and Slade had to constantly reposition him to make sure he wasn’t watering the hay. He nibbled Dick’s neck slightly, his eyes trained on Damian, who looked away quickly as soon as he realized Slade was watching him. Dick came hard into the pail and Slade had to switch it out before he could milk Tim. 

“With the brat in here?” Tim asked, pointing a little. 

Slade murmured his agreement, then added “He’s getting a milking, as well.” Jason whistled and Dick elbowed him gently but reproachfully. 

Tim didn’t have much more to say once Slade started handling him. He was a little faster than the other two, but he was also a little more provocative, really setting Slade up for an orgasm of his own. He moaned Slade’s name and kissed him hard and long as Slade worked on him from the front. He even took off Slade’s shirt, for which he obviously had to let go of Tim’s length. It was worth the pause to feel his sweet little hands doing circles around his nipples. Slade wasn’t usually one to hold back, but he finished Tim quickly after that. He was really working him up, and Slade had a goal in mind.

Tim sat down with Jason in the hay and dug into Slade’s satchel. “Where’s the sugar?” Jason asked. 

“Ah, the price of going legit, I’m afraid.” 

Jason and Dick moaned, this time in disappointment. This fanfare gave Damian time to gain his confidence and mount the stool. Dick had done this a few times, but Damian was beginning to feel like he was babying him. It was about time that someone took him seriously enough to give him a…. hmmmm…. a milking. A firm milking. He stood up straight and waited for Slade. He didn’t wait for long. 

Slade wrapped one hand around him nearly possessively, giving him a delicious stroke that nearly sent Damian to his knees. To his surprise, Slade held him up without seeming like he was in control at all, and no one seemed to notice Damian’s moment of weakness. After that he gained more control, trying to choke back his noises as the pleasure raked through his body. He felt fingers probing his wet entrance and nearly missed his knees buckling for a second time. 

“Fuck….” Dick swore, causing Damian to blush. “That looks so good…” 

“He really wants you, Damian.” Jason teased. Tim only smiled, enjoying the show. 

Slade saw no reason to hide his interest, though. Soon he was positioning himself to take Damian. He lifted him, instructing Damian to place both hands on the beam above him and keep them there. Surprisingly, Damian did as he was asked without comment, his face red and his cock heavy with need. He was already dripping from his entrance when Slade pushed in, his own cock twitching with pleasure. Slade only got in a few carefully controlled thrusts before Damian was pouring milk into the bucket, biting off his howls of intense bliss as best as he could. Dick stopped Tim and Jason from applauding.

Slade allowed himself to finish inside Damian before he set him down. Slade had sugar in his jean pocket, but he didn’t much see the point in breaking Bruce’s rule when Damian hadn’t struggled with him in the least. Much like Tim, there was no grooming necessary, except the kind where Slade lovingly brushed out his silky-smooth hair as Damian sat trying not to blush, of course.

The next week, Dick and Jason went out after their morning milking, discussing how amazing Slade was with his hands, when a woman about their age approached the front fence and whistled. Dick cocked his head at her, thinking how her shade of white reminded him so much of- “Slade?” 

“What?!” Dick called back. He moved his ears forward and caught the question this time. 

“Have you seen a guy named Slade?” 

Dick nodded. He and Jason galloped to the fence, stopping short as they approached. “Yeah, he’s in the barn. Who’s asking?” Jason queried. 

“Only his daughter.” The woman said.

“You’re Rose?” Dick asked, “I thought you’d be younger.” 

“Really?”

“Wow… the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, because you are gorgeous…” Jason said, but it was muttered so shyly that only Dick heard him. 

“Yeah.” Dick said back to her, scratching his head and ignoring Jason. “It’s a little weird knowing Slade made flower crowns for you.” 

“What?” Rose asked.

Jason took Dick’s arm and whispered in his ear “Ask her if she likes cowboys.”

Dick blushed and laughed at him. “I’ll get there.” He said, pushing Jason away playfully. “Uh…Thanks for the flowers, though. It was really sweet of you.” He said, though he got the feeling she wasn’t that fooled by Jason’s mannerisms. She gave Jason a playful smile, then turned to Dick. 

“What are you talking about? I never gave you any flowers. I just arrived in town and…. did you just say my dad made a flower crown?” Rose asked, laughing a little. “Seems unlikely.”

“You never gave us White Whistle Weeds? The white flowers?”

“Nope. And I’ve definitely never had a flower crown, let alone one made by my father.” Rose said. 

Dick stood there looking perplexed for a moment, then understanding dawned on him. “Slade. Fucking. Wilson.” He said. 

 

The end~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW Slade you are in so MUCH TROUBLE! I hope you guys all enjoyed this shameless furry porn crack fic. Thanks for being such a great audience. And remember, just because the story is over doesn’t mean reviews aren’t appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued! 
> 
> This one definitely gets the award for strangest line I’ve ever written, because I don’t write crack. Slade made a flower crown. Wow.  
> PLEASE review. Remember, guys. It takes hours, days... months sometimes to produce content free for you all!


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